Google Patents Fireworks bottle rocket launcherĭownload PDF Info Publication number US7237488B2 US7237488B2 US11/066,916 US6691605A US7237488B2 US 7237488 B2 US7237488 B2 US 7237488B2 US 6691605 A US6691605 A US 6691605A US 7237488 B2 US7237488 B2 US 7237488B2 Authority US United States Prior art keywords barrel launcher valve rocket breech Prior art date Legal status (The legal status is an assumption and is not a legal conclusion. Google Patents US7237488B2 - Fireworks bottle rocket launcher But since I survived, instead let my story serve as an amusing warning to others!ĭarwinAwards.US7237488B2 - Fireworks bottle rocket launcher If the M60s had gone off while I was wearing the coat, or during my struggle to get it off, I would have been a serious contender for a Darwin Award. My parents were too bemused to punish me, except for insisting that I buy myself a new coat with my Christmas money. My mother, a nurse, was able to dress them herself, so I didn't have to go to the emergency room. The M60 ripped a huge hole in the coat, which started to burn, and the burning coat set off the rest of the M60s, blowing the coat into tatters of flaming cloth. I dove to the cold ground, which felt soothing against my burned chest. I whipped it over my head, and had barely extricated my arms from the sleeves and hurled it away, when the first M60 blew.

I realized that there was only way to remove the coat. My smoldering coat was being ripped to shreds, and holes were burning through the sweatshirt beneath it. POP! POP POP POP! I tried to unzip my coat, it but it was stuck, and would not unzip no matter how hard I pulled. At that moment, the long string of firecrackers ignited. I grabbed the front collar of my coat, and pulled it out so I could look down to see what was happening. I suddenly realized that the bottle rocket had gone off in my inside breast pocket! At first, I thought one of my brothers had fired a bottle rocket at me, but no one was looking my way. I did not realize my mistake until I felt a sharp burn and a powerful WHUMP against my chest. I was happily engaged in lighting fireworks, when I inadvertently reached into my inside pocket for more, with the hand holding the punk. They burn without a flame, leaving only a smoldering tip. I grabbed some M60s, a string of firecrackers, and a few packages of bottle rockets, and stuffed them into the inside breast pocket of my new coat until it was close to bursting. But after several trips back and forth, I decided to carry the fireworks more efficiently.

To be safe, we decided to leave the box of fireworks in the garage, twenty feet from our staging ground. We chose the top of a hill overlooking the lake in our backyard, towards which we would launch the fireworks. It was a box full of fireworks! Bottle rockets, firecrackers, screamers, flowers, snakes, smoke bombs, and M60s, which resemble miniature sticks of dynamiteĪfter securing our presents in our rooms, we threw on our new winter coats, grabbed the box of fireworks, and scouted out a location from which to deploy them. My younger brothers and I were granted the honor of opening it, and we proceeded to rip the wrapping paper asunder. It was a cold, clear Christmas day, and only one gift remained unopened: a large present under the tree addressed to the entire family from Santa. A true tale of an event from Justice Lloyd's ill-spent youth.